In the Water They Can’t See You Cry

So I’ve been feeling a bit low this week and for the life of me I can’t put my finger on it.

 

I think my moods a bit of a culmination of things really. Firstly I’ve not been training to hard just before my race and post race I’ve been very worn out. I don’t really feel like I did my self proud on race day either if I’m honest and that’s been bothering me. The main thing with it was my swim. I’m capable of such a better swim than that and on the day I fluffed it big time. I don’t even know why fully. I mean I had one goggle full of water and that really messed with my stroke. But I’m not really sure that in it’s self was enough,…. I think it might have been some nerves because of who I was swimming against. But that been said, I’ve swam on a national level I should have laughed about it,… idk. Another thing that’s been bothering me is I seem to be lacking power in my stroke. I don’t know where it’scome from, but one day I got in the pool a few weeks ago and I just realised I was going slower. I mean for me, noticably slower.

 

Now if you’re into sport and fitness you usually have a goto theraputic exercise. Mines swimming. I put my head down and I swim. I swim slow and stead, the world dissapearing around me and everything begins to feel right in the world again after a few hours of this. It’s like free therapy 🙂

 

Now hear in lyes the problem. My swim has been causing me no end of problems,…. how do I go to an exercise that I’m finding it hard to sustain or even enjoy at the moment?!? I felt stuck in limbo, not knowing which way was up. I was getting to that point where I needed a good cry. I nice relaxing cry just to get it out my system but not even sad films were working,…. was I broken, was there something wrong with me???

 

With university assignment deadlines looming something needed to be done….

 

So it was coming to the end of the week after the race. I’m not feeling 100%, but good enough to train again, nice and steadly. I needed to do something.

 

Now I don’t live to far away form my loval pool, It’s about 1.1 miles away. The problem is though that everyone knows me there. I don’t mean it in any bad way, but in some ways I’m always on show there if that makes sence? I decided I was going to go for my long run this easter sunday, except this time I took my swimming kit in my hydration rucksack. I’d decided that I was going to take a senic route to another pool at the other end of the city I live in, have my self a little swim and then run back.

 

I fueled up before I went for this run as usual and I set off. My legs were stagnant. I hadn’t run probely on them all week apart form a few miles on a treadmill. They were heavy, my lung hurt, my legs almost instantly were on fire,…. this is a feeling I enjoy. I worked through the pain, rythmicaly moving forward, no music just my own thoughts to keep me company. By the time I made it to the pool I was a sweating mess. 10 miles, it felt good to have my legs working again. I got changed in this unfermillia pool. The worry of using the womens changing rooms came into play. That’s all I needed on a day like to day was to get called out for using the “wrong” changing rooms. This worry , like always was in my head. I’ve not been confronted about this for well over two years now, but it’s always in the back of my mind.

 

I got in the pool and I started off slow and steady, keeping time, breathing, catch,… recovery,…. glide,… catch,….recovery,…. glide. At each end doing a fancy little tumble turn, I didn’t want to have to face the world. Not now, not yet. I kepy my head under water for as long as possible. I increased my speed, my arms powering through the water, stretching out with each stroke to pull my body through the water. and then it happened. It was a little at first, I hardly noticed it my self. I could have been mistaken, it could be sweat or any number or droplets of the gallons of chlorinated water. But then it hit me dare I say like a wave. I was crying, my arms methodicaly moving through the water as I cried between breaths. I would come up to breeth and between I would let the water wash away and filter out my emotions. I didn’t count the lengths I’d done nore the time it had taken. I just swam till I was done. Till I felt fulfilled.

 

I got out the pool like nothing had happened. Was any one the wiser to my out burst? My body dripping onto the laminate flooring I sat in the changing room creating my own pool at my feet. I was exsausted. Not just physicaly but emotionaly also. I few deep breaths later I composed my self and started to pull on my sweaty running clothes over my drenches skin untill I no longer looked like a swimmer, but a runner in altogether the wrong enviroment. I began to run home,… another 10 miles. I had only made it half way through today’s training but I felt like I had overcome some bigger obsticals than distance or time. My body didn’t know what to do, it was tiered, hungry, wet and cold. All the things that make for some interesting running. With the weight lifted off my shoulders I bounded home. My feet moving one infront of the other, as if they knew their role in carrying me home and I had no involvment in the matter. My legs powered on, my eyes blurred untill I made it home,…. where I felt refreshed, I was a new,…. and nothing more was thought about the past few weeks. They are behind me and what matters is what is infront of me now. xxx

 

Race report Apollo Tri

So Sunday I did my first triathlon. 400m swim, 24km bike and 5km run and it was good!!

 

The getting up in the morning was pretty hard at 4am. Although I’ve been talking to a girl till the early hours for the last few weeks which definatly hasn’t helpped. On the night before she kicked me off to bed at least. but after a few weeks of it, neither of us was asleep so ended up gassing again lol. I was pretty tiered come 4am and an entire mug of ecspresso definatly perked me up though 😉

 

We’d been having amazing weather up in Hull and in the UK, temp in the 20’s ºc. Typically come race day it was 1ºc and we started by scraping ice off the car. We got there really early , I set up transition and after a race brief at half seven I then had to wait for 0944 for my wave. It was strange, I was rocking trackies with my hair tied back and then later a tri suit and I got called “love” and automatically people were pointing me towards the girls toilets etc. I always think I look massivly butch / blokeish like this, but I guess not?

Me talking to my mummy

As the time got closer I’ll be honest, not matter how much preperation I’d done I was beggining to get nervouse,…. hand I trined enough,…. could I do this,… I’m sure I can do this,… yes! given my swimming back ground I ended up going off with all the decent athletes (all of which won veriouse catagories or came second etc) and then there was me,…. was I really in the right catagory???

So my swim came, I pushed off and my right goggle filled with water,…. a-Fking-mazing!! I did two lengths like this and as I breathed on my right (the side that filled) I kept judging it wrong and breathing in water. After two abismal legnths I moved to breathing just on my left. This slowed me down a bit, but hey, I was breathing and I’m pretty sure that helps right?

After the swim I had a 200m run to transition. Now this I was happy with, 40 seconds from crossing the mat, getting to my bike, glasses and helmet on and across the line again, good times 🙂 I ran, hopped on the bike (shoes already attached) and I was away. It was pretty cold still and being wet my suit got cold around my chest pretty dam quick. I’d traind for this on perpose, so lots of short slow breaths later I wasn’t hyper ventalating. I was off. The first 3-4 km all was going swimmingly, a reasonable time and I was kicking out speeds of 35km/h. then I turned at a t-junction to find a car straddeling my lane and coming straight towards me. Now it’s been a while since I’d done physics, but I’m pretty sure that both our speeds and his size would end badly for me. So like any sensible person. I got the fk out of dodge and ended up on the floor rather than under his car. I checked my self over for broken bones, nope all’s good I can stand. I checked the bike over, yep all working still. One final check of my self revealed a nice cut on the palm of my hand, a few patches of road rash, scratches on my legs and a slightly bruised pride. At this point the remiander of my wave passed by. Least they asked if I was ok though 🙂

My hand was gushing a bit, but I thought it’s not bad enough to stop me and I’m sure the wind while I ride will help it clot,…. well apart from a 4-5km up hill section where I was out my seat hanging out my arse, ragging my hands on my drop bars.

Once over the hill though it was a lovely down hill with only a small up hill at the end. My hand was healing nicely in th wind, thank god. I couldn’t imagine getting a “DNF” on my first race I did find my self slowing down because of the crash on a down hill section,… doing 75km/h down hill in skin tight lycra I couldn’t help but think if I came off now it would be a little bit more seriouse :S. The rest of the bike I tried to make up the time a bit but to be honest it took me 56mins and I was far from happy with that time. I do have to say, I seem to have the getting on the bike, the dismount and transition down at least, this time I did a 44 second transition into the run.

The run was a two lap “flat” course minus a small hill at the far end of the loop. It was 5km and burning legs aside I plodded on through it to cross the finish line. It’s safe to say I was pretty shattered, my time was slow because of a mixture of mishaps and nerves and you know what. I loved it. I loved every minuit of the race. From the cold, the wet, the crash. The burning feeling in my legs and lungs. It was like heaven,… call me a sado masachist,…. no really do 😉

Needless to say with a time of 1:32:11 I didn’t win anything. but it was my first race, who would I be kidding if I thought I could have come first and what would there be to aim for if it was all easy right? But I took alot from the race. How things felt, how things works. There are alot of things to work on and rather than being detered I’m already looking at my next race in the end of june.I’m officially a complete triathalon convert 😀

 

And in true calabratory style the girls dragged me out for a “few” drinks on the night that turned into me been awake 23 hours, getting home at 3am just a little,…. ok quiet tipsy and very tiered :S

 

My aero bars turned up today as well so that’s gona be some fun to train with so wish me luck 😀 xxx

T minus 1 week

So it’s one week to the day to my race. Today I got all the prerace brief info so it’s official,… I’m racing and this is happening.

 

I’ve started my pre race phase and it’s a tad boring to say the least. My plan for this week is a casual swim to stretch my arms out and a casual run to stretch my legs out on tuesday. This will leave my body to rest for a week leading up to the race so that (in theory) I’m recovered and at my best on race day. Boring is not the word though I’ve been getting up at 4 every day raring to go and instead, getting up and doing uni work. The mental strength needed this week I think is worse than when I am training because at least then I feel like I’m doing something, where as at the moment I feel like I’m getting up for no reason and then it’s the slippery slope,…. what’s one more hour in bed 😉 God I hate taper

 

Between blasting out a uni assignment this week on the fundermentals of search in artifical intelligence I think there will be a few blog posts to come. There are a few things that I’ve wanted to write about and / or have happened in the last few weeks that I want to blog about,… so you have been warned 😛

 

So for now I’m going to get back to do some research for this paper and consider some sort of carbo loading over this week while I’m at it 🙂 xxx

Swim bike run crash

So my knee is on the mend. I’ve been doing some decent running sessions. Only short distances but quality sessions rather than quantity. Today I thought I’d push it a little bit and see how it holds up.

I recently baught a new bike. Nothing special, a Barrossa monsa that cost me £204. It’s a nice little racing road bike for training on once I make a few modifications to the tune of aero bars, drop handel bars and a 78º conversion seat post I’ll be well on the way 😀

Although I have to say, buying off the peg bikes usuall, or at least in my mind come built. Mine on the other hands looked like this

After a day of playing around with it and a few scrapes it looked more like this

So now I have a bike all the kit a kit junkie could need and a knee that is working,…. swim bike run brike set any body?

I got out at 5am as usual today and I’de already got it in my head this was the plan for the morning. Nothing to crueling or hard paced. Nice and steady and just get the feeling of swim to bike, bike to run. I ended up with a mile swim, 10 mile bike and 3 mile run. Was well under two hours, but not 100% sure on time as I was messing about at the pool and gassing with people as you do. It was definatly around the hour and a half mark though and boy did I feel like it.

A funny thing happened to me though on my bike ride. Now I’d heared horror stories about people clipping in for the first time, riding and not being able to get out of them and crashing. I do some spin classes and also had a play at home making sure I knew my way in and out of them rather than figuring it out at a set of traffic lights.

So there I am 6 miles in sweating, working hard and I get to a set of lights. I move down the line past the cars and up to the front. I go to unclip,…. NOTHING!! I panic, I tug, I wobble and then thats it I’m laid on my side in the gutter infront of everyone.  Now this is a reasonably busy “T” junction, with lots of cars about so it’s safe to say I feel like a bit of a tool. But me being me, I just laid there for a few moments laughing out loud, shook my head and after fighting with my feet, got up and waited for the lights to change, then went onto finish my session. I thought I’d been unscaved but, I have a slight scuff on my left hip. Although the pic doesn’t do my first war wound justice if you ask me 😉

Any ways, a day of uni work for me. Between training and my last year I don’t seem to stop xxx